I have irrational fears,
I wish to know how to
Let go of them.
I have a terrible, ongoing fear
That I will call people I know
By the wrong name.
All of a sudden
I donβt trust myself
To say the right name.
Names get confused in my head
According to how people
Made me feel.
My fear is
To hurt their feelings
By saying the wrong name.
I live in fear
To hurt others
Because I donβt trust
Myself
To say the
Right
Name.
Okayβ¦
Now I have a new fear.
To re-share earlier work
That is dark and sad.
What if people stop
Loving me
If they see this?
Can other people be inspired?
Can other people understand
That my weakness
Makes me tremendously
Strong?
Drop the question mark.
Can other people see
How strong they are,
Dealing with
Pain,
Depression,
Anxiety,
Love unfulfilled,
Trauma,
Loss.
I sometimes think my words
Are meaningless
When they are of pain.
How is pain inspiring?
The bottom line is,
My pain inspires me
To change my life, daily.
So maybe itβs not
So presumptuous
To think it can
Help at least another.
Pain teaches us how
Not to be,
How to love right.
Or not.
The biggest, oldest fear I have
Is my biggest, deepest, truest wish:
Singing to other people.
I want to sing every day,
All day,
For the rest of my life.
I feel if people hear me sing
They will see my soul
And make fun of me.
Never I think
They will like my soul.
My voice is beautiful
And I hide it.
I keep my
Beautiful gifts
To myself
Out of fear.
Now thatβs
Cowardly.β¨
I want to get past my fears.
I know your name.
I know I am brave enough
To share myself,
Because this is what
I
Want.
And to sum up,
My wishes are those:
1 Be able to trust myself
That I know whatβs right, and
In my ability to help and inspire
Through my openness.
2 Be courageous enough
To give myself what I want most.
3 Learn how to trust in others,
Some people will be happy
To see me happy.
As for the others,
I canβt remember
Their
Names.
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