Everything is gone.
There is no love and no hope
And I am in a void
Between two worlds
Pretending
To exist.
My heart is weeping
My eyes are watering
They cry sometimes with no tears at all
It’s just a pain I get, a warm feeling around my eyes.
I’ve been caught feeling. Now everyone knows I’m sad.
I feel my heartbreak cannot be hidden
I feel like everyone can tell my business
That I am, a rejected woman
An unlovable woman
A woman who was dropped so quick
For loving too quick.
I feel shameful
I feel so hurt
I don’t want to live anymore.
All these years I worked so hard
To keep my heart safe
To maintain my energy.
And then I let people disrespect me again and again
I drop at their feet
I feel humiliated
I can’t sleep
And I weep.
And I say I’m sorry
And for what?
I wish I could jump off the window and die
It would be less painful
Than living so rejected
Like I’m so bad
So unworthy of love
One thing goes wrong and I’m being kicked out mercilessly
And I can’t take this pain and humiliation that I feel inside.
I never thought reality would be so painful to the point I want to die.
It seems this will be the only plan that would actually work. Stop living.
Because living is too much
I’m not alive
My soul is dead.
I feel exposed and ashamed for the person I am: A woman no one loves and no one wants.
I wish I could die.
I don’t want to be here on earth anymore.
I want to go home.
I can’t take this pain.
This one sided shit.
I wish I could die. I’m not living. My pain is too much.
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