I have irrational fears,
I wish to know how to
Let go of them.
I have a terrible, ongoing fear
That I will call people I know
By the wrong name.
All of a sudden
I don’t trust myself
To say the right name.
Names get confused in my head
According to how people
Made me feel.
My fear is
To hurt their feelings
By saying the wrong name.
I live in fear
To hurt others
Because I don’t trust
Myself
To say the
Right
Name.
Okay…
Now I have a new fear.
To re-share earlier work
That is dark and sad.
What if people stop
Loving me
If they see this?
Can other people be inspired?
Can other people understand
That my weakness
Makes me tremendously
Strong?
Drop the question mark.
Can other people see
How strong they are,
Dealing with
Pain,
Depression,
Anxiety,
Love unfulfilled,
Trauma,
Loss.
I sometimes think my words
Are meaningless
When they are of pain.
How is pain inspiring?
The bottom line is,
My pain inspires me
To change my life, daily.
So maybe it’s not
So presumptuous
To think it can
Help at least another.
Pain teaches us how
Not to be,
How to love right.
Or not.
The biggest, oldest fear I have
Is my biggest, deepest, truest wish:
Singing to other people.
I want to sing every day,
All day,
For the rest of my life.
I feel if people hear me sing
They will see my soul
And make fun of me.
Never I think
They will like my soul.
My voice is beautiful
And I hide it.
I keep my
Beautiful gifts
To myself
Out of fear.
Now that’s
Cowardly.
I want to get past my fears.
I know your name.
I know I am brave enough
To share myself,
Because this is what
I
Want.
And to sum up,
My wishes are those:
1 Be able to trust myself
That I know what’s right, and
In my ability to help and inspire
Through my openness.
2 Be courageous enough
To give myself what I want most.
3 Learn how to trust in others,
Some people will be happy
To see me happy.
As for the others,
I can’t remember
Their
Names.
WRITTEN: APR 14, 2022
30 responses to “Three Fears, Three Wishes”
Till you have always said my name correctly 😀
Also reposting work is very good way, it’s helping new readers like me to approach your previous work. Your work is beautifully expressed and you have expressed your emotions perfectly through words. I think it’s very very hard to express real emotions, but you do it wonderfully all the time. I know it’s easy for me to say, but don’t fear that people will not like your work, they love it and that’s why they are here always.
Thank you, Devang!! I feel your words touching my heart! And I will leave it at that 😊
If people are returning back to read your work, that means they like what they read. This the beauty of blogosphere
Yes that’s true, I also love reading peoples words
You are building very special here… You can see it and I’m sure you can feel it
A very relatable poem, Tut. We call people who never express self-doubt or remorse “arrogant!” 🙂
Thank you so much for saying this, Cheryl! 🙏🏼😊💗
Re-posting old work is perfectly reasonable, especially if that work relates to a current event. Sharing what you wrote does not mean every reader is going to try and figure out your character. What if, like me, you write about events, issues, feelings, in fact anything that might inspire me. The main things are to enjoy your writing and to enjoy the sharing of your work. Have a lovely ‘Easter’.
Thank you and happy Passover from me lol 😊 you’re very right, it’s just so gloomy and sad (to me) that I fear to share it, but I feel I have to be brave because maybe it can help someone see there are ways to come out of the darkness 😊 Thank you and have a beautiful day!
Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
Thank you for sharing 😊🙏🏼💗
Always a joy and pleasure to read and share great posts with followers, My Dear! Hope you had a great day!! 😘💕🎁🌹
Dear Tut Yashar,
We all are human beings with more or less shortcomings. If people have understood that we are in the making, not perfect, then they will also forgive those little things when using a wrong name. In my case it quite often happens that people think that I am a woman, because Didi is also an Indian term, means elder sister, but my nick Didi can derive from the name Dieter, Dietrich, etc. – so when they talk to me, they speak to me keeping me as a woman and when I tell them that I am a man they feel embarrassed. I tell them that it is not a problem. Then this situation is rectified. And if there are people who feel offended when you call them by the wrong name, then you don’t need to think about it any more…
Hugs and love, my friend 🙂
Didi
Thank you so much Didi, and thank you for sharing. I also know both men and women Didi so it can be confusing.
I am actually never calling people by the wrong name, I call them by the right name and then I’m afraid it’s not their name- I don’t know why. It’s like somehow I think it may be a different person. The people never know about it because I call the right name 😊 and yes none of us are perfect, it’s impossible to be 🙏🏼🙏🏼
🙂 🙂 🙂
Ohhhh yes, I knew it, your didi means big sister 😀
Big brother, not sister 😊
Didi means big sister
Bhaiya means big brother in hindi 😁
Yes, indeed, dear friend 🙂
All the best to you 🙂
Didi
Your words aren’t meaningless. I relate to this so much. You’re a great writer. I say, share the old work! ❤️Thank you for sharing this.✨
Thank you so much, Amber! This means a lot for me to here. And it also feels good to know we’re not alone 🙏🏼❤️
Everyone has a problem, dear? whatever kind it is. I also do forget people’s names, just at times though… but my greatest problem is low self esteem. I’m trying to battle it every day.
Yes, that self esteem. I suppose we all have that in common. I also have a low self esteem, you are not alone and together we can learn to make it better 💗💕🙏🏼
Ooh, it’s so nagging it is indeed. Glad we’re in it together and can possibly learn of a way out. 💖💖
Amen to that 🙏🏼💗
Amen 💖
I have high anxiety too…found a good book that helped…DARE by Barry McDonagh…🐦🐦🐦
Thank you! Amazon here I come lol
free here…….https://ca1lib.org/book/3316126/a2967d
Yay thank you!!