I need help
Help me find the inner power to do what I need to
To overcome my darkness
To Do, Act.
My mind is either anxious or dozy.
My soul is like the foamy waves of an ice cold ocean, deep blue waters, rays of light do not penetrate its thickness.
The pain flows, the panic flows.
No one is here.
In my mind I am naked, burrowed in the center of a closed space
That is the inside of my heart.
It is red
Rays of light coming out of the walls, projecting inside me from all over the room,
But I don’t feel embraced or warm I feel stripped and alone.
My mind and my heart are that room,
And my soul feels like that ocean.
I am Red and Blue.
I am Purple.
I am lost.
I am tired.
I don’t know if I have the strength in me anymore.
I think I lost, I think I need to live a loser life or die, and I’d rather die
If I cannot win.
I reached a point I cannot describe:
Like okay, I should be more serious
But I’m numb.
I want help
I don’t know how to explain it to anyone,
Lost for words.
I want someone to help me, listen to me speak.
But I don’t know that anyone can and I feel that it is not not fair to ask anyone, anyway.
I want to have someone sit by my side while I perform my tasks and tell me I am doing okay.
Help me with my expression because I’m lost for words.
No words can describe or explain the one truth I feel –
I am alone and I don’t want to be.
WRITTEN: NOV 4, 2021